I’m four months into 30, and so far, it’s not looking how I imagined. By now, 15-year-old me would have expected to be married, with a great job and two kids giving the same energy Ciara had in the Promise video (it was an iconic moment for me.) So far, we’re close but not entirely living up to the dreams of my teenage self. These past several months have been difficult for me, and by the end of January, it was clear I was NOT signed up for the 2023 soft girl package. I repeat, I have been enlisted to join the fight of 2023.
With everything I’ve learned in the past several months, I sat down with myself the other night and wrote a list of things I want to do moving forward. I’ve spent my life crossing off goals on my mental checklist that have been living rent-free in my head since about age eight. Now that I’ve accomplished most of my list, I’m refocusing on precisely what I want to achieve as I enter my thirties.
Spending the money.
I spent my twenties building my savings, shopping sales, and acting like I enjoyed eating at home. In my thirties, I’m going to valet because in Los Angeles, who has time to duck and dodge crime on my way to brunch? I’m going to travel because my body and mind literally cannot thrive without a break, and this world has infinitely too much of God’s beauty for me to stay stagnant. I’m going to treat myself to a nice dinner because food is probably the quickest way to boost my mood. I say all this to say I’ve learned that as great as having money is, it’s useless if we don’t use it, and it will always come back.
Holding myself accountable and apologizing.
That’s right, I said, AND apologizing. At this big age of 30, I’m owning up to the fact that I’m not perfect, and I’m going to be upfront with my feelings and verbalize them to others while also acknowledging when I’m wrong. Nobody has time to be childish these days anyway.
Sitting in silence.
The older I get, the harder it seems to have a moment of silence. Finding and appreciating quiet moments can be challenging between work, scrolling through my phone, or catching up with friends and family. However, these past few months have shown me the value of stillness. The benefit of going into my room, closing the door, and just lying there is truly unmatched. No music. No T.V. No Tik-tok. Just my thoughts – and there are a lot of them. Sitting with my thoughts and letting them dance around my head leads me to clarity. In silence, I can identify my negative thoughts that eventually impact my feelings, give them their flowers, and escort them to the door.
Do you have anything you’re leaving behind as you reach a milestone? Drop a note in the comments and share any advice you have for us 30-somethings!