Marriage is a wild place.
When I applied for college I only applied to three schools. After visiting several universities, when I toured Howard University I instantly knew I’d be a Bison. I applied to two other colleges as back-up, but at after graduation I went with my first choice. My bridal dress shopping experience was no different.
So as you all know I am engaged, and with engagement comes several obligatory events leading up to the wedding. There’s the venue hunt, engagement photos, dress shopping, the bridal shower, etc. So far, we’ve got two items crossed off the list.
Insecurity is something I’d like to say we all deal with. If you disagree, I’m calling you on your lie. Recently, I’ve been feeling increasingly insecure. It could be the new job. Since starting five months ago every now and then I feel when I take one step forward, gaining my footing, I take two steps back. Kind of like a humbling tango. Or, this decline in confidence could also be due to my upcoming wedding and the panic I endure every few weeks about the fact that someone has chosen ME to be with them for the rest of their life. I’ll lay in bed thinking “Me? Is he sure he wants to be with this forever?” or “It’s only a matter of time before my flaws start wearing at him and he’s sick of me.” I beat myself up for even thinking these self-doubts. Then, I beat myself up even more for being insecure, especially when I scroll through my Instagram timeline and see other women living their best life via swimsuit photos …
So I’m engaged. *cue balloons, streamers, and questions about when we’re having babies.*